Dominants as Gods

I was going through my FetLife writings and found this from over three years ago:

The idea of dominants as gods from BitaTruble:

I don’t think you’re a heathen. ::grins:: I mean, if you think about it, what do dominants do? They cause it to rain in the form of our tears, they determine the way the Earth spins for us, whether there is day or night and when we teeter on a precipice they can choose to let us fly or fall. They can quite literally give birth to us, breaking down shells and walls to expose the raw core of what lies within. That some pretty powerful stuff. What entity other than a God can do those things? What entity, other than a God, would want to?

It was a good week

Last Friday was awesome. Sir’s work had a party. It used to be a holiday party, but they figured everyone is so busy that they changed the date. I had so much fun. I can be pretty shy, I know a lot of people that he works with, but it was still a little lonely until Sir got there – he had to work late. Once he got there I felt safe and less shy and started to let loose. We mostly sat around and talked and teased each other. A lot of alcohol was consumed by everyone except me. One of his co-workers invited me to a Zumba dance class. I had never heard of it and thought she was talking about hammer pants, which I learned are called zubaz, not zumbas

Submissive Guide Blog Hop 4

This is for the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge. Please check out the other submissives/slaves that participated – bonimiss, tlbsab, Tee aka Sensualfreak, Larissa G, and Autumn Raine Skye

Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

This isn’t really going to directly answer the questions, but here goes:

I do have a little bit of a female superiority and a whole lot of feminism in me. So it is often hard for me to hear or see other women submitting to men, especially when I don’t think the men have earned that honor. This is especially true when I think about Christian domestic discipline or Gorean relationships. I do not believe that a male dominated society is a good thing.

But, of course this makes me a hypocrite because I submit to a man. I want to say,”But wait, I’m different, I don’t submit to him because he’s a man.” If I were to be completely honest with myself I’d say that it is true that I submit to him because he has what we stereotypically think of as male qualities. Qualities like being a leader, being tall and strong, being a protector, and knowing what he wants and how to get it.

When I first discovered feminism I was in college. I bought into the “all men are pigs” idea. I started to believe that those stereotypical masculine qualities were what is wrong with the world. Even though I thought about men using and abusing me as I masturbated, I truly believed that I was a lesbian and thought that the world would be a better place without men and their macho bullshit. But I still liked those qualities in women. I love of super butch women. They make my juices drip down my thighs. But this too bothered my feminist sensibilities – that I liked women who “act like men.” I love being pushed to my knees and have a cock shoved down my throat. It don’t matter if it’s made of flesh and blood or silicone.

I feel like I was taught that I shouldn’t need anyone, but especially a man to complete me, but I need that energy. I need to feel that power used on me. At times, I feel shame when that voice in my head tells me that I shouldn’t need this – that I am a strong independent woman and that I shouldn’t feel this need to be controlled, to be owned.

I may feel shame, but I crave to be spanked when I’ve commit some wrong. I love Gorean positions and would love to be better at them. Being a footstool or a pet fills the need to be objectified. I try to look at other relationships with an open mind. I know that there are people who think my Sir is a cocky asshole. His attitude works for me. It’s true that I can see a male dominant and feel like he doesn’t deserve his submissive, but I don’t know anything about their lives, just like no one really knows about mine.

As we age, we hopefully grow wiser. I’ve learned to accept myself and my needs and respect others and their needs.

My other Blog Hop posts: 1,2, and 3

Blog for Choice 2012

This is the third year I have participated in Blog For Choice. Click here to sign up and to view other bloggers.

This years question is: What will you do to help elect pro-choice candidates in 2012?

I feel somewhat limited in ability to help elect pro-choice candidates. We do donate money to the DFL and I periodically, send emails, leave phone messages or write letters to my government folk, that never seems like enough.

I know how easy it is to get used to the status quo. For years our district rep was a democrat, but this last election somehow a republican got elected. I don’t think he even campaigned. We were caught off guard. This has happened all over the state. Once in office, our representative has sponsored a bunch of crap like a “choose life” license plates, voter ids, and lifting the ban on more nuclear plants. The values that I think of when I think of Minnesota are being eroded. Minnesota nice is dying and I don’t know what to do about it.

Amy Klobuchar is up for reelection here in Minnesota. I really like her. I know she needs money and volunteers. Sadly, I am hesitant to volunteer, mainly because of how this community is. I hate small town politics.

I feel like my best way to help elect pro-choice candidates is to urge my friends and family to vote. I recently talked to a friend who feels so disenfranchised that she said she wasn’t going to vote at all. I was shocked by this in part because she helped me develop my strong beliefs. I talked to her and hopefully convinced her that she needs to vote. I will be following up with her  and other friends as November gets closer.

• My 2011 Blog for Choice post
• My 2010 Blog for Choice post

Three Political Issues I Feel Strongly About

The first two are more than just political issues. They are more like “how to live ones life” ideas.

1) I believe in basic rights for all great primates – humans, chimps, gorillas, orangutans and bonobos. We have the right to our own bodies, we have the right to choose what happens to them. For humans, that is abortion rights, LGBTIQ rights and universal healthcare. For all primates, that is not be subjected to testing or anything for that matter without consent.

2) Non-primate life should be valued and respected. Companion animals are not property. Food animals should be treated as the gift that they are. Rainforests should be protected. Trees and animals should be harvested humanely.

3) The war on drugs has to end. It creates violence and costs us too much money. If drugs were legal there would be less people in jail/prison. There also wouldn’t be the need for the all the gun violence. If governments would regulate it they would be making money.

Michele Bachmann Quote

“If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement.”

Mmmmm bondage. I don’t know that the personal despair, but I am all for bondage and personal enslavement (consensual, of course)

I was watching “Shit Homophobic People Say” when I heard this

Post Surgery Stir Fry Recipe

This is what I made today.

• 1 small onion
• 2 small cloves of garlic
• 1 bag frozen broccoli
• 2 handfuls unsalted dry roasted peanuts
• 1 can sliced water chesnuts
• 1/3 package JFC Buckwheat Noodles
• 1/2 bottle Panda Express Kung Pao sauce

I cut up the onion and the garlic and cooked it in a little olive oil until the onion was translucent. While that was cooking I boiled water in a pot and added the noodles. Next, I added the broccoli, peanuts, and water chestnuts to the onions. On top of that I added the kung pao sauce and cooked it until the broccoli was heated through. Lastly, I drained the noodles and mixed them in to the rest.

This is so good for me because I need to focus on protein. The noodles have 11g per serving and the peanuts have 7g. The broccoli adds a little bit of protein, but it gives me lots of fiber.

Can BDSM be considered a sexual orientation? – Journal Prompt

Submissive Guide Journal Prompt – Can BDSM be considered a sexual orientation?

This is a truly awesome question. The first thing I did was to google “sexual orientation.”  On Wikipedia’s page on sexual orientation it lists only four orientations – Asexual, Bisexual, Heterosexual, and Homosexual. When you create a FetLife profile you have twelve orientations to pick from. I tend to label myself bisexual, or homoflexible but those don’t quite fit.

Next, I googled “sexual orientation test” for the hell of it. I took the HelloQuizzy.com: The Sexual Orientation Test which told my I am pansexual. The Oxford dictionary defines pansexual as “not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity.” So basically I have the ability to be attracted to men, women, and everyone else. And while that may be true on the surface, it doesn’t quite fit either.

I do believe that BDSM is a sexual orientation. I know I could not be happy in a monogamous vanilla relationship. Being sexually dominated is something that I need to be a happy sexual being. While I might think someone looks sexy, it in no way compares to how sexy I feel a dominant person is.

If I were to list the qualities of my perfect partner, up there with honesty and sense of humor is the ability to make me weak in the knees by a grab of the hair, a crack of a belt or a whisper in my ear.

New Years Resolution

I have been struggling with what this new years resolution should be. It seems that most folks I talk to think they are dumb and don’t make them.

I like making them, but I just couldn’t figure out what this years should be. A friend of ours recommended a podcast by Sex Nerd Sandra. I have been listening to it and really enjoying it. When I listened to a podcast called ”Sex and Cancer!?” I found my resolution.

Now I don’t have cancer, but I have had a shit load of other stuff. The message I took from the podcast is that if you have gone through shit you deserve to be as happy and sexy as you want to be – you are not “damaged.”

I think I have spent so long feeling like I am damaged goods and I don’t want to keep doing that. My new years resolution is to work on being sexy.

So today I bought two new shirts and got a brand new haircut with layers. (I never did layers before because then I’d have to get a haircut more than once a year) Also, I have a makeup consultation on Monday.

So far it feels a little weird. I love feeling pretty, but I still have that tomboy in me that is just a bit cynical.

Paul Wellstone Quote

“The future will not belong to those who sit on the sidelines. The future will not belong to the cynics. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” — Paul Wellstone