This is for the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge. Please check out the other submissives/slaves that participated – bonimiss, tlbsab, Tee aka Sensualfreak, Larissa G, and Autumn Raine Skye
Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
This isn’t really going to directly answer the questions, but here goes:
I do have a little bit of a female superiority and a whole lot of feminism in me. So it is often hard for me to hear or see other women submitting to men, especially when I don’t think the men have earned that honor. This is especially true when I think about Christian domestic discipline or Gorean relationships. I do not believe that a male dominated society is a good thing.
But, of course this makes me a hypocrite because I submit to a man. I want to say,”But wait, I’m different, I don’t submit to him because he’s a man.” If I were to be completely honest with myself I’d say that it is true that I submit to him because he has what we stereotypically think of as male qualities. Qualities like being a leader, being tall and strong, being a protector, and knowing what he wants and how to get it.
When I first discovered feminism I was in college. I bought into the “all men are pigs” idea. I started to believe that those stereotypical masculine qualities were what is wrong with the world. Even though I thought about men using and abusing me as I masturbated, I truly believed that I was a lesbian and thought that the world would be a better place without men and their macho bullshit. But I still liked those qualities in women. I love of super butch women. They make my juices drip down my thighs. But this too bothered my feminist sensibilities – that I liked women who “act like men.” I love being pushed to my knees and have a cock shoved down my throat. It don’t matter if it’s made of flesh and blood or silicone.
I feel like I was taught that I shouldn’t need anyone, but especially a man to complete me, but I need that energy. I need to feel that power used on me. At times, I feel shame when that voice in my head tells me that I shouldn’t need this – that I am a strong independent woman and that I shouldn’t feel this need to be controlled, to be owned.
I may feel shame, but I crave
to be spanked when I’ve commit some wrong. I love Gorean positions and would love to be better at them. Being a footstool or a pet fills the need to be objectified. I try to look at other relationships with an open mind. I know that there are people who think my Sir is a cocky asshole. His attitude works for me. It’s true that I can see a male dominant and feel like he doesn’t deserve his submissive, but I don’t know anything about their lives, just like no one really knows about mine.
As we age, we hopefully grow wiser. I’ve learned to accept myself and my needs and respect others and their needs.
My other Blog Hop posts: 1,2, and 3